The Power of Living An Intentional Life

Intentions are your GOALS mixed with passion
and a powerful desire to achieve them

Re-Invention requires self-evaluation and a new self-awareness.

Redesigning your life takes a very clear set of INTENTIONS, it’s the starting point to becoming aware of your current situation and noticing your habits, what motivates you, what serves you and what doesn’t.

Your intention is very different to what you give your attention to. It is very easy to get caught up giving your attention to what is happening around you, the same way children and animals do, it’s what distracts you from what you should be doing. On the other hand, if you have a very clear intention – I want to buy a new car – and put all your attention and focus to it, your brain will organise a very clear picture of what you want and you will suddenly start seeing the car everywhere. In neuroscience it is called your RAS – your Reticular Activating System.

Therefore, it is essential that you develop a laser-beam focus on what you want , so that you can direct your attention at the primary level to be aligned with your intentions. When you can do that, you have the foundation for personal empowerment, namely, self-discipline, the ability to get yourself to do what you say you’re going to do and what you intend to do.

These two facets of consciousness (intention and attention) describe what’s on your mind (attention) and what’s in the back of your mind (intention). To live attentionally is to live only in the moment and only about whatever is happening right now in sensory awareness around you, also know as the practice of mindfulness. You can read more about Mindfulness HERE

Your intentionality operates like a secret power behind your thinking-feeling and other fundamental powers. Intentionality sets your direction, you decide on your values, you choose your meanings, your understandings. It is here that you make your executive decisions, where you operate by choice and become the author of your own life.

Question: If intentionality is so powerful, then why do we not see everybody accessing and operating from this power?

Because it takes practice, clarity and choice to lay down the habit of living intentionally.

4 things you can practice:

  1.  Get clear about what you want – practice writing things down
  2. Make a plan for the next 12 months, if that’s too far away for you do 6 months or 3 months even one month if that’s all you can plan.
  3. Plan each day with an intention on what you want to do that day.
  4. Practice gratitude for all that you achieved and all that you have

Practice these things on a daily basis and watch the world change around you.

“When you change the way you look at things
The things you look at change”
Wayne Dyer


If you want 2020 to be your best year ever, join me for the Self Awareness Workshop in Canberra and Sydney and begin to create your future.

The Power of Self Awareness

Are you missing opportunities in your Business or Professional life?

Whether it’s personal, professional, spiritual, physical or any other domain of life we will explore techniques to help build your true character and presence so that you can positively impact and influence the people in your life.

Presence is difficult to define, very real, and can have a substantial impact on your career and life. Presence has everything to do with character and little to do with personality. Solidifying and communicating a clear Presence is a skill that can be learned and continuously developed.

Personal Presence is about getting you seen, heard and remembered for what you do.

Self-Awareness is about getting you seen, heard and remembered for who you are and what you do…

This For you if:
  • You Manage other people
  • Find it hard to Self Manage
  • Take control of your day
  • Are tired of not been seen or heard
  • Challenged by difficult conversations
  • Need to have more influence
  • Improve your reputation

 

Tue, Nov 12, 2019
9:30 AM – 4:30 PM AEST
Ondina Studio, Suite 904 – Level 9
122 Arthur Street North Sydney
North Sydney, NSW 2060
Fri, Nov 8, 2019
9:30 AM – 4:30 PM AEST
East Hotel
Canberra Avenue, Kingston
Canberra, ACT 2600

Why I do what I do.

There comes a time in one’s life when the purpose for working changes and I feel that time has come for me. It is the right time for me to give back to business what it gave to me: freedom, joy, opportunities, lessons and challenges, all of which have enriched my life.

As a businesswoman, mentor and coach, I have worked for many years with clients in the Skin Care, Fashion and Mentoring space and the number one reason clients wanted to work with me is to gain more confidence. Confidence comes from clarity and persistence, having courage and the conviction to hold onto your dream. It’s the person you become along the way.

My transition into the mentoring and coaching came when I moved to Sydney in 2011. I studied with the Institute of Executive Coaching and Leadership in Sydney and continue to study this subject every year.

I spend the majority of my time now, working one on one with my clients, running public workshops and working with business and corporates to create high visibility for their Key people.

WHAT OTHERS SAY

Thank you for your amazing leadership, instruction, teachings, wisdom, caring, honesty, empathy and pure hard work helping me through this course and across the past months Ondina – such a blessing to have been a part of this wonderful group of women!

Thank you ‘wonderful group of women’ I treasure the support you have unconditionally shared.

–H.F.

The Power of Relationships

Working with Judith E. Glaser for nearly 2 years on Conversational Intelligence was such a privilege – she trained hundreds of coaches all over the world in her lifelong work. Judith lost her fight with Cancer late last year. In her book, Conversational Intelligence Judith speaks about how we build relationships through conversation and how we build trust through those conversations.

Conversations are multidimensional, not linear – What we think, what we say, what we mean, what we hear and how we feel about it afterwards are the key to understanding and becoming aware how every conversation has impact. Positive or negative words carry emotional charge, they are triggers to past memories and experience. The more awareness we can bring to our language – the words we use in those first few seconds of a conversation can cause a connection to die or lead to a lifetime of mutual support and prosperity.

When I use her work in my Self-Awareness Workshops, I like to use the acronym of TRUST that Judith created, and I would like to share it with you here.

Cultivating great relationships is one of the surest ways to find more happiness and joy in your life. Recent studies show that those with a wide circle of friends and family live long, laugh more and worry less.

 

How do we Build Trust?

T – Transparency – Intention: How can I create a safe environment, be more transparent about desired outcomes, and share threats that may stand in the way?

Impact: What actions, thoughts or words will enable the other person to shift from protect to partner?

R – Relationship – Intention: How can I establish rapport; prime the conversation for mutual trust, openness, and respect; and establish a ‘power-with others’ context?

Impact: What actions, thoughts or words will enable us to listen, to connect and relax judgment of each other?

U – Understanding – Intention: How can I step into the other person’s shoes and see the world from their eyes: share what is on my mind, stay open and non-judgmental.

Impact: What actions, thoughts or words will bridge between our realities?

S – Shared Success Intention: How can I/we paint a picture of shared success – not just my success? How can I lower my ‘attachment to being right’, and elevate my curiosity about what is possible?

Impact: What can we say to reduce conflict and open a new view of mutual success?

T – Testing Assumption – Intention: How can I/we tell the truth with candour and caring? How can we identify Reality Gaps, and stay open to test assumptions?

Impact: What actions, thoughts or words will enable us to both ‘tell our truth’; What can I do to facilitate co creative conversation?

 

To get to the next level of greatness depends on the quality of the culture, which depends on the quality of the relationship, which depends on the quality of the conversation – everything happens in the conversation.

 

The Power of Knowing Yourself

How many times have you tried to get the outcomes you want in your life and try as you might, they don’t seem to come around?

Your outcomes don’t come from what you do, they come from who you are being, your identity, your self image. It is more about who you identify as which comes from how you grew up, what beliefs you have about yourself and the habits you have created.

For example, I grew up in Australia from the age of 3 from European parents – we spoke Italian at home so I didn’t learn to speak English until I went to school, so whilst I so desperately wanted to fit in and be Australian at school, my identity was Italian. For a long time I was stuck between two cultures until I was able to figure out who I wanted to be and learnt to appreciate both.

A big part of knowing yourself is to understand your values, what’s important to you. Your values are like your GPS, they keep you moving in the right direction, on track every single day. Understanding your values takes work, they are not just words you pick from a list. You have to be able to articulate your values, knowing when you are truly living them and when you’re not.

Values are the first step in getting to know yourself and creating true self-awareness.  You cannot celebrate something your not aware of, nor can you change thoughts and habits, stories and motives with out Self awareness.

I have spent a great deal of time researching how we choose and live our values and the deeper I research this subject, the deeper the meaning of values become.

The first part of the Self-Awareness workshop is spent exploring  your values and what they mean to you.

EARLY BIRD TICKETS HAVE BEEN EXTENDED TO OCTOBER 14

I have shared this Tony Robbins Video on Identity – How to Define yourself.

Join me for the next Self Awareness workshop that I am running in Sydney and Canberra in November.

The Way you are REMEMBERED – your attitude and character, your habits and behaviours, your beliefs and values, how you influence others.

The Power of Self Awareness

Are you missing opportunities in your Business or Professional life?

Whether it’s personal, professional, spiritual, physical or any other domain of life we will explore techniques to help build your true character and presence so that you can positively impact and influence the people in your life.

Presence is difficult to define, very real, and can have a substantial impact on your career and life. Presence has everything to do with character and little to do with personality. Solidifying and communicating a clear Presence is a skill that can be learned and continuously developed.

Personal Presence is about getting you seen, heard and remembered for what you do.

Self-Awareness is about getting you seen, heard and remembered for who you are and what you do…

Self-awareness allows you to challenge these 3 areas of your life:

The way you are SEEN – how you see the world and how the world sees you – First impressions, body language, dress, passion, energy and environment.

The Way you are HEARD – Your word choices, your thoughts, the way you sound and your ability to have meaningful conversations

The Way you are REMEMBERED – your attitude and character, your habits and behaviours, your beliefs and values, how you influence others.

 

EARLY BIRD TICKETS HAVE BEEN EXTENDED TO OCTOBER 14

Tue, Nov 12, 2019
9:30 AM – 4:30 PM AEST
Ondina Studio, Suite 904 – Level 9
122 Arthur Street North Sydney
North Sydney, NSW 2060
Fri, Nov 8, 2019
9:30 AM – 4:30 PM AEST
East Hotel
Canberra Avenue, Kingston
Canberra, ACT 2600

Why I do what I do.

There comes a time in one’s life when the purpose for working changes and I feel that time has come for me. It is the right time for me to give back to business what it gave to me: freedom, joy, opportunities, lessons and challenges, all of which have enriched my life.

As a businesswoman, mentor and coach, I have worked for many years with clients in the Skin Care, Fashion and Mentoring space and the number one reason clients wanted to work with me is to gain more confidence. Confidence comes from clarity and persistence, having courage and the conviction to hold onto your dream. It’s the person you become along the way.

My transition into the mentoring and coaching came when I moved to Sydney in 2011. I studied with the Institute of Executive Coaching and Leadership in Sydney and continue to study this subject every year.

I spend the majority of my time now, working one on one with my clients, running public workshops and working with business and corporates to create high visibility for their Key people.

WHAT OTHERS SAY

WOW!!! Wonderful for self-growth and having a clearer picture of who you are and what you want. Loved the connection with the other woman in a room full of trust.
Ondina, thank you for all your time and sharing all your knowledge and being the inspiring woman that you are.

–M.R.

When You Ignore Your Gut Instinct


Gut instinct rules
How our gut instincts impact our conversations and what to do about it.

 


We have all heard it said – listen to your gut, what does your gut tell you?

Have you ever had that gut feeling, that moment when you just knew?

Have you ever not listened to it and lived to regret it?

The gut sense is your basic human instinct. It is the collective intelligence of your cells all working synchronously to keep your body safe and in proper working order. Your gut offers feedback about how you feel about something, based on your past experiences and fears.

I remember just before Christmas last year, I had to pick up some dry-cleaning and I parked my car, grateful for a spot for 5 mins. I had a feeling to look back and check the sign and ignored it thinking its right across the road and it will be fine, only to come back to an inspector booking me. My dry-cleaning that day cost me $275.

We are hardwired with gut instincts that respond faster than we can think. We are hardwired for trust and distrust. It is the most primitive and oldest part of our social networks in our brains and our bodies.

It can happen so quickly that unless you are aware of that feeling, that gut reaction, you are likely to miss it. From my experience it can be as much as a flutter in your gut that signals you to stop and take notice. With practice I believe that you can learn to recognise, listen to and trust this momentary reaction, that feeling when you know!

 

Wikipedia defines it this way:

Instinct – a motor response initiated by the body totally controlled by an external stimulus. An instinct is by definition, a behavior.

Neuro Insights

Constantin Economo discovered a neuro network that enables us to connect with other human beings; a network that is embedded in our brain and in our gut. This network is what gives us our gut instincts.

When we are in conversation with others, even before we open our mouths, we size up and determine whether we trust or distrust them, and our gut instincts tell us whether the interaction is going to be safe

Neuroscience tells us that the gut is our 6th brain* – the gut brain is revolutionising medicine’s understanding of the links between digestion, mood, health and even the way we think. Scientists call this little brain the enteric nervous system (ENS).

Stress is correlated to having an imbalance of gut flora, some what caused by the foods that we eat. The better the quality the better the balance. Processed foods, too much alcohol and caffeine can disrupt the balance which then puts us out of balance.

90% of the body’s serotonin is located in the EC (enterochromaffin) cells of the GI track, where they regulate intestinal movements. This neurotransmitter helps regulate mood, appetite, and sleep. Serotonin also plays a role in cognition, specifically in learning and memory.

So what is the difference between Instinct and Intuition?

• Instinct is our innate inclination toward a particular behavior (as opposed to a learned response).

• A gut feeling—or a hunch—is a sensation that appears quickly in consciousness (noticeable enough to be acted on if one chooses to) without us being fully aware of the underlying reasons for its occurrence.

• Intuition is a process that gives us the ability to know something directly without analytic reasoning, bridging the gap between the conscious and non-conscious parts of our mind, and also between instinct and reason. Read more here.

 

Over the next few weeks, get In-touch with those moments that stop you for a split second and examine the feelings and the thoughts that come from  your gut. You may just be grateful you did.

* Judith E. Glaser Conversational Intelligence

Change One Thing, Change Everything

You never change things by fighting the existing reality.

To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.

 

BUCKMINSTER FULLER 

 

Conversations are not what we think they are. We mostly tell people what’s on our mind or what to do, share a story or information. Conversations are interactive and dynamic, they evolve and impact the way we connect to one another. Conversations help us influence and shape reality and mindsets in a collaborative way. Conversational Intelligence is what separates those who are successful from those who are not – in business, relationships and in marriages – one conversation at a time.

My passion for conversations started at a very early age.  I came to this country at age five and learnt to speak English at school. My parents were not schooled in English, our language at home was always Italian, our parents spoke in Italian and I responded in English -translation was never easy.

It wasn’t until I started running my own business at the age of twenty-one that I learnt my greatest lessons. Conversations were an integral part of my business, and my clients and team were my teachers. To this day, I am so grateful for the lessons I have learned and am still learning.

Over the many years of working in the business world, I have discovered that conversations are essential to an organisation. The ability to created shared meaning about what needs to be done and why, so that employees get excited and are clear about the future they are helping to create together.

Words create our worlds and Judith E. Glaser in her work with many organisations discovered that when we change just one or two words in a conversation we change everything. Paying close attention to our non-verbal cues and we become more sensitive to the impact they are having. What happens at the moment of contact defines the relationship.   Putting our relationships before task means we don’t only partner with our people, we build high levels of TRUST which Judith called the Neuroscience of  WE.

 

The Neuroscience of WE – Building Skills That Achieve Results

 

To help teams get to the root of an issue Judith developed a program that taught people the skills to Achieve Results – which I have often used in my work with clients.

 

STAR SKILLS

Skills That Achieve Results

  1. Build Rapport – focuses on getting on the same wavelength with the person you are talking with. We create rapport instinctively, it is our natural defence from conflict. Our body language plays a big part in building rapport, how we show up, others will show up. Watch how people communicate and build rapport in the work place when having a conversation – are they relaxed, open and welcoming or guarded and closed?
  1. Listening without judgement – paying full attention to the other person while they are speaking and resisting the need to judge or reject, formulate your response in your mind. Research confirms that we go in and out of listening every 18 seconds. Make yourself available to what the other person is really saying. 
  1. Asking discovery questions – open your mind to the power of curiosity, as well as the possibility of changing our views as we listen and learn. Be open and receptive to understanding the other persons point of view.
  1. Dramatise your message – this creates a healthy trusting relationship. Try different ways to communicate. Telling a story or using a metaphor. When you fully understand the other person, you are more likely to get back what you give.
  1. Celebrate success – focuses us on seeing and validating “What success looks like” and a commitment to celebrate when this is achieved. Appreciate one another’s point of view.

 

The words we use in conversations are rarely neutral. Words have histories formed by years of use. These words get activated during conversations and by understanding how words trigger different parts of the brain and stimulate behaviours and habits, you can develop and grow your Conversational Intelligence to build a healthier, more resilient organisation.

 

 

Create a Safe Workplace

“To get to the next level of greatness depends on the quality of the culture, which depends on the quality of the relationship, which depends on the quality of the conversations,

Everything happens through conversation!!!”

Judith E. Glaser

If I asked you who the best Boss, you have had was – could you name him or her?

If I asked you who the worst Boss, you ever had was – I know you could name him or her.

 

Judith E. Glaser whom I worked with for 3 years taught me the importance of “changing the conversation in the workplace” In my work I see too many broken people, who have been undermined, unsupported and not recognised for the work that they do. In world where we are so fixated on our technology – real conversations are not taking place.

We are asked to do more, be more and know more. We feel we are connected and yet we don’t speak to the people sitting around us.

Human beings thrive on being appreciated, valued and supported. When the work environment feels threatening, it brings out fears that will be experienced as rejection. While we may not see the impact, a negative work environment dampens down people’s “voices” and they don’t speak up easily. Environments, certain words and lack of transparency trigger old memories. By changing the environment to a safe and supportive one, we activate TRUST networks in the Brain.

People feel safe, act more confident and engage with one another in an innovative and collaborative way. They are more engaged and productivity is increased.

I recently read an article in HBR by Emma Seppälä, Ph.D., is Author of The Happiness Track, and Kim Cameron, Ph.D., Business Author of Positive Leadership and Practicing Positive Leadership.

I have gently edited this for the purpose of sharing the 5 tips from their article “Proof that a Positive Culture is more productive.”

  1. Foster social connections. A large number of empirical studies confirm that positive social connections at work produce highly desirable results. For example, people get sick less often, recover twice as fast from surgery, experience less depression, learn faster and remember longer, tolerate pain and discomfort better, display more mental acuity, and perform better on the job.
  1. Show empathy. As a boss, you have a huge impact on how your employees feel. Research found that, when employees recalled a boss that had been unkind or un-empathic, they showed increased activation in areas of the brain associated with avoidance and negative emotion while the opposite was true when they recalled an empathic boss.
  1. Go out of your way to help. Ever had a manager or mentor who took a lot of trouble to help you when he or she did not have to? Chances are you have remained loyal to that person to this day.  When leaders are not just fair but self-sacrificing, their employees are actually moved and inspired to become more loyal and committed themselves. As a consequence, they are more likely to go out of their way to be helpful and friendly to other employees, thus creating a self-reinforcing cycle. Daan Van Knippenberg of Rotterdam School of Management shows that employees of self-sacrificing leaders are more cooperative because they trust their leaders more. They are also more productive and see their leaders as more effective and charismatic.
  1. Encourage people to talk to you – especially about their problems.Not surprisingly, trusting that leader has your best interests at heart improves employee performance. Employees feel safe rather than fearful. Fostering a culture of safety i.e. in which leaders are inclusive, humble, and encourage their staff to speak up or ask for help, leads to better learning and performance outcomes. Rather than creating a culture of fear of negative consequences, feeling safe in the workplace helps encourage the spirit of experimentation so critical for innovation.
  1. When you know a leader is committed to operating from a set of values based on interpersonal kindness, he or she sets the tone for the entire organization. In Give and Take, Wharton professor Adam Grant demonstrates that leader kindness and generosity are strong predictors of team and organizational effectiveness.

A positive work climate also leads to a positive workplace culture which, again, boosts commitment, engagement, and performance. Happier employees make for not only a more congenial workplace but for improved customer service. As a consequence, a happy and caring culture at work not only improves employee well-being and productivity but also improved client health outcomes and satisfaction.

In sum, a positive workplace is more successful over time because it increases positive emotions and well-being. This, in turn, improves people’s relationships with each other and amplifies their abilities and their creativity. It buffers against negative experiences such as stress, thus improving employees’ ability to bounce back from challenges and difficulties while bolstering their health. And, it attracts employees, making them more loyal to the leader and to the organization as well as bringing out their best strengths. When organizations develop positive, virtuous cultures they achieve significantly higher levels of organizational effectiveness — including financial performance, customer satisfaction, productivity, and employee engagement.

 

What’s In It For Me For 2019

Ever heard of the Radio Station WIFM? A term used by Personal Development and Sales Training guru’s back in the 90’s – I still hear people say it today.

What’s In It For Me? let’s turn that into What do I want for Me?

After having a wonderful holiday with my family for Christmas and New Year, I have spent this week working from home planning 2019 – let me say that there has been no shortage of suggestion flying through the emails on how to plan for success, how to make it different, along with an enormous amount of planners and diaries on offer – interestingly they are all paper planners and no electronic ones on offer – funny that. It seems that not everyone plans and schedules on their devices.

There really is no excuse – there is so much information out there to help you plan, just ask google..

This year I have chosen to use the Goal Digger Planner – I found it last year and it worked really well for me, I have everything in one place, my goals, my vision board and my bucket list for the year and an easy method to keep track of it all.

The book I chose to read for inspiration is Robin Sharma’s 5am Club I have been following Robin for years and love his work. The first book I read of his was, Leader Who has no title you don’t need a title to be a leader. The 5 am Club offers you the idea that the first hour of your day is magic – it sets up your day for huge productivity and focus. I haven’t quite got to 5am but have managed 5.30 this week. It is a good read, very motivating and I highly recommend it.

What ever you choose to do to start your year on the right trajectory – take the time to get clear about what you want, how you are going to make this year different to last year, how you want to show up, how you will connect with others and how you will contribute. If you find it hard to do on your own – get someone to help you. The hardest question my clients find hard to answer is “What do you want”

If professional and personal development is on your list for 2019 – we have our workshops beginning on 6 March in Canberra and 13 March In Sydney – more information will be following in the next few weeks.

I will leave you with a quote from – Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor

“Do not live as if you have ten thousand years left. Your fate hangs over you. While you are still living, while you still exist on this Earth, strive to become a genuinely great person”

Happy New Year – I wish you prosperity, good health and love

Self Esteem through Self Awareness

Some call it self-esteem, some call it confidence, some believe it comes from Self-Awareness or Self-Control. Self-esteem flows from your self-image, your overall opinion of yourself– how you feel about your abilities and limitations. When your self-esteem is healthy, people feel good when they are around you and you feel more confident around others around others.

Self-esteem plays a significant role in your motivation and success. When your survival needs of Health, Safety and Financial Stability are taken care of and family and friendships are strong, you develop a strong sense of worth – your confident, self reliant and very resourceful.

Low self-esteem may hold you back from succeeding at work because you don’t believe yourself to be capable of success. you may feel that you don’t have enough for your survival needs or that you are not loved enough which leads to a feeling of not being enough.

When you find your tribe, you stop comparing yourself;  you may aspire to be like others but you have your own unique thumbprint that cannot be changed to be like anyone else’s. The sooner we learn to be our unique selves, build on our own experiences and share our own stories the sooner we start to build our own self-esteem and confidence.

You probably have a good sense of who you are if you exhibit the following signs:       

  • Ability to say no
  • Positive outlook
  • Ability to see overall strengths and weaknesses and accept them
  • Negative experiences don’t impact overall perspective
  • Ability to express your needs
  • Confidence

To increase your awareness around self-esteem, ask yourself the following questions:

  1. How much do I really like myself?
  2. How significant do I think my life is?
  3. How worthy do I believe I am of other people’s attention?
  4. How truly confident of my abilities am I?
  5. Are others as important to me as me?
Most of what you need is right there within you, waiting for you to tap into it. The kind of high self-esteem that attracts others to you is pure authenticity – being more of the person you already are, without the mental tricks that get in your way.
Emotional Self-Awareness is the ability to recognise and master your feelings, and inner thoughts that affect your behaviour. Learning how to recognise and control these behaviours is a big first step.

Emotional Self-Awareness is the ability to keep these impulses and emotions in check during stressful situations, like having difficult conversations or walking through that door to your next meeting or having the ability to control the conversation in your head – yes you know the one….