7 Ways in 7 Days to Kickstart 2021 – Build High Trust

Mistrust doubles the cost of doing business.

– Professor John Whitney

In his book – The Speed of Trust – Stephen M.R. Covey wrote: ” The one thing that changes everything is trust. Trust impacts us 24/7, 365 days a year. It undergirds and affects the quality of every relationship, every communication, every work project, every business venture, every effort in which we are engaged. It changes the quality of every present moment and alters the trajectory and outcome of every future moment of our lives – both personally and professionally.”

To build trust with others – we need to first build trust with ourselves. It’s about developing integrity and intent that will make us believable.

Do you trust yourself?

Am I someone others can trust?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Establishing a Foundation of Trust

We can prime our conversations by using the 5 steps below. Changing our mindset can shift and shape our experiences in more productive, innovative, co-creative and intelligent results.

T – Transparency

How can I create a safe environment, be more transparent about desired outcomes, and share threats that may stand in the way.

R – Relationship

How can I establish rapport; prime the conversation for mutual trust, openness, and respect; and established a power – with others context.

U – Understanding

How can I step into the other person’s shoes and see the world from their eyes: share what is on my mind, stay open and non judgemental.

S – Shared Successes

How can I/We paint a picture of shared success – not just my success? How can I lower my attachment to being right, and elevate my curiosity about what is possible.

T – Test Your Assumptions

How can I/We tell the truth with candor and caring? How can we identify reality gaps, and stay open to testing our assumptions?

This will fully activate the trust networks – enable the Executive Brain (prefrontal cortex) and heart to connect and elevate both conversations and influence.

I hope you have enjoyed the 7 ways in 7 days series of articles as much as I have enjoyed preparing them for you.

2021 is the Year Of You and what you can do to make this year great, we can’t keep waiting for others to create our lives for us – we need to be proactive. If you don’t have the skills to do what you want, you can learn them. Anything you could possible want to learn is now on the internet – there is nothing you can’t learn. So decide what you want, and what you need to learn to get there and go for it…

If you feel this has been useful – please share with a friend.

If you are keen to find out more book a call with Ondina.

7 Ways in 7 Days to Kickstart 2021 – Make Every Conversation Count

Conversational Intelligence is what separates those who are successful from those who are not – in business, in relationships and even in marriages.

Conversations are a lot more than simply sharing information, conversations are dynamic, interactive and inclusive. They evolve and impact the way we connect engage, interact and influence others, enabling us to shape reality, mindset, events and outcomes in a collaborative way.

Conversations have the power to move us from “Power-over” others to “power with” others, giving us the exquisite ability to get on the same page with our fellow humans and experience the same reality by bridging the reality gaps between how you see things and how I see things.

To get to the next level of greatness depends on the quality of the culture, which depends on the quality of the relationship, which depends on the conversation. Everything happens through conversations.

If you would like to influence others and build high trust – practice the following:

  • Listen to understand, not to respond.
  • Ask questions – don’t tell others what they should and shouldn’t do.
  • Be transparent – don’t go around the world when you want to make a point.
  • Figure out what the issue is and get clear before you dive into the conversation.
  • Stick to the facts and don’t make up stories.
  • Speak in first person – what do you need instead of what others have to give you.
  • Your tone is key – it’s not what you say – it’s how you say it.
  • There is no place for judgement in conversations, only awareness and rapport.

I have trained with Susan Scott and Judith E. Glaser on conversations and every day I keep learning.

If you don’t have a copy of Susan Scott’s book, I have linked the book HERE for you to explore conversational possibility.

“When we think of a fierce conversation,

think passion, integrity, authenticity, collaboration.

Think cultural transformation

Think Leadership”

– Susan Scott

If you are keen to find out more book a call with Ondina.

 

7 Ways in 7 Days to Kickstart 2021 – Live with Intention

Our brain is designed with a RAS system a Reticular Activating System that helps us find what we are looking for. It’s a little like when you google something you’re interested in and then you get all sorts of adds appearing everywhere you look on your device to remind you of what you were looking for.
In his blog Tobias van Schnieder describes it this way:
Some people suggest that you can train your RAS by taking your subconscious thoughts and marrying them to your conscious thoughts. They call it “setting your intent.” This basically means that if you focus hard on your goals, your RAS will reveal the people, information and opportunities that help you achieve them.
  1. First, think of the goal or situation you want to influence.
  2. Now think about the experience or result you want to reach in regards to that goal/situation.
  3. Create a mental movie of how you picture that goal/situation ideally turning out in the future. Notice the sounds, conversations, visuals and details of that mental movie. Replay it often in your head.
If there’s a secret driver behind your personal power and your feeling level of empowerment, it must be intentionality. It is your intent—the thoughts in the back of your mind, what you want to do and achieve.  It is the direction that you set for where you want to go.  It is your motive-and from your motive comes your motivation, your agenda, and your purpose.
Your intention stands in contrast with your attention therefore it is essential that you develop a laser-beam focus, why?  so that you can get your attention at the primary level to be aligned with your intentions, at the highest levels of your mind. When you can do that, you have the foundation for another facet of personal empowerment, namely, self-discipline, the ability to get yourself to do what you say you’re going to do and what you intend to do.
“If you deliberately plan to be less
than you are capable of being,
then I warn you that you will be deeply unhappy
for the rest of your life.
You will be evading your own capacities, your own possibilities.”
– Abraham Maslow

7 Ways in 7 Days to Kickstart 2021 – Know Thyself

Self-awareness is the capacity to stand apart from ourselves and examine our thinking, our motives, our history, our scripts, our actions and our habits and tendencies.

– Stephen Covey

When I first started my training as an NLP Master Coach, I was told I had to apply everything I was learning to self first. How could help others if I didn’t know myself.

Knowing your own emotions, triggers, strengths, drives, values and goals, and their impact on others is the first step to self-awareness – knowing yourself gives you increased self-confidence and self-esteem. It allows you receive feedback without feeling judged, to accept change, live with integrity and build long lasting trust.

Knowing yourself helps you become the creater of your own destiny.

Ask yourself the following questions…

  • How well do I know myself?
  • Am I in control of my emotions?
  • What triggers an emotional response in me?
  • What is the story I keep telling – and is it taking me towards my goals?
  • Am I able to communicate clearly and effectively with out feeling judged?
  • What are my top three values that I’m living and are they aligned with my goals?

Take the time to journal these questions and time to explore your answers, because this is the deep work you do before you are ready to set real goals.

Self-awareness involves deep personal honesty. It comes from asking and answering hard questions.

– Stephen Covey

Click here to watch Tasha Eurich’s Ted Talk “Increase your self-awareness with one simple fix”.

If you are keen to find out more book a call with Ondina.

7 Ways in 7 Days to Kickstart 2021 – Get in Touch with your Values

Personal Value is the magnet that attracts all good things into our lives.

The greater the value, the greater the reward.

– Jim Rohn

 

Values reflect what is important to us.

Together with our beliefs, values drive our decisions and actions.

Values are priorities that tell you how to spend your time, right here, right now. Our time is a limited resource, once we spend this day, it is gone forever. When you don’t use your time effectively, you don’t get the results you want. Prioritising allows you to be consistent with your actions and keep you on a steady course without becoming victim to constant distraction.

Values act as your GPS to get you back on course every single day, so that you keep moving in the right direction – towards a life which is your own ideal.

When you truly understand your values, you can then tie your goals to those values and have a much greater chance to achieve them.

  • How do you know if you are living your values?
  • Are you able to clearly articulate them?
  • How do you live your value of health or family – What do you do to live that value? What are the actions you take?

Your first step is to decide what is important to you – what do you value – Take a free Personal Values Assessment HERE at the Barrett Values Centre. This takes about 10 minutes, you will get a report back and your work is to do the two exercises in the report.

It’s easier to make decisions when you know your values.

Personal Leadership is the process of keeping

your vision and your values before you

and aligning your life to be congruent with them.

– Stephen Covey

If you are keen to find out more book a call with Ondina.

7 Ways in 7 Days to Kickstart 2021 – Start a Gratitude Journal

Let us rise up and be thankful,

for it we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learnt a little,

and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick,

and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die;

so, let us all be thankful.

– Buddha

When my daughter was a baby and learning to speak, one of the first things I taught her way to say ta, then it became thank you and please and then – what’s the magic word?

How often do we ask for something and forget to say please? How often does something we want come to us and we forget to say thank you?

When we get to the end of each day, what are you grateful for? Do you think about what was great about your day or only the things that went wrong?

When you focus on the things that went wrong instead of the things that went well no matter how small – that’s what we get more out of. The fastest way to get what you want in life is to be grateful for what you have that’s working for you, and your brain will show you ways to get more – your job is to stay conscious and aware of what is going on around you. Write down three things that you are grateful for every night before you go to sleep.

Here are a few things you can start doing to create the habit of GRATITUDE which came from Jack Canfield’s blog on Gratitude. Jack is the author of The Success Principles, you can read the whole article HERE.

1. Each morning write down what you appreciate in life.

Start your day this way primes you to be receptive and grateful for everything your day will bring. It also helps you cultivate an air of positivity that makes you naturally more attractive to other positive people.

2. Appreciate at least 3 people every day.

By letting people know how much you appreciate them, you increase their own sense of appreciation and self-worth and encourage them to pay this positive energy forward to other people.

3. Remember to appreciate the smallest blessings.

The best way to activate your gratitude is by acknowledging the gifts most people take for granted. If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes in your closet and a roof over your head, you are better off than 75 per cent of the world’s population.

If you eat three meals a day, you are far better off than the 1 billion people on the planet who eat once a day at most.

Do you have a phone? How about a car that allows you to travel to work or to explore the country? Is your family healthy? Do you have a computer and Internet access to stay in touch with the world, get access to education, and perform work for which you are paid? Do you have clean water to drink?

Celebrate these simple blessings. These daily conveniences are gifts that most people in the world do not enjoy.

4. Appreciate yourself.

Finally, don’t forget to appreciate your OWN positive qualities and accomplishments. In addition to celebrating your big successes, acknowledge your small daily successes too. We all need acknowledgement, but the most important acknowledgement is that which we give ourselves.

Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more.

If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.

– Oprah Winfrey

If you are keen to find out more book a call with Ondina.

7 Ways in 7 Days to Kickstart 2021 – Plan Today for Tomorrow

This cannot be the year
Of talking
Of wishing
Of wanting.
This has got to be the year,
you get it done.

Eric Thomas

I remember receiving my 2021 Goal Digger Planner. It is my third year of working with this planner and I was looking forward to planning 2021. I took it out of it’s box and admired the newness of it and the possibilities that were in front of me. 2021 is my year.

How do you start planning a year that has already started out to be as unpredictable as the last?

By getting clear about what you want – who you want to be, what you want to do and what you want to have.Clarity is the the product of careful thought, it comes from asking questions continually and refining your perspective on life. Getting clarity to the answers to certain questions:

  • Who do I want to be?
  • What are my highest values?
  • What am I really good at?
  • What is the biggest thing I want to achieve this year?
  • What is my plan to get there?
  • What’s going to get in my way?

People with written goals are 42% more likely to achieve them than people without, and
telling a friend increases that rate to 78%

So plan today what you want tomorrow – grab a note book or buy a Migoals planner, they have 30% off at the moment. It allows you to have everything in one place and you can add to it every day. I start off in pencil so that if I wanted to change anything as I got more and more clear, I could.

There is a reason that there are more and more planners coming onto the market – because there is a big difference between writing it down compared to typing it into your device. Writing it down get’s to the heart of thing.

So make the most of this one life that you have – you can do this, the hardest part is to start….

Some people want it to happen
some people wish it to happen
others make it happen

Michael Jordan

If you are keen to find out more book a call with Ondina.

How To Get Seen When You Feel Totally Invisible

In May 2012, I packed up my life after spending 30 years living in Canberra for a life in Sydney. I had a successful business, a beautiful apartment looking over the lake – and I was really excited to be starting a new life in Sydney.

What I didn’t consider was that the success that I had achieved in Canberra was not going to necessarily follow me to Sydney.

I had started my Coaching study a few years before and was excited to start my practice in Sydney – I had gone from being totally visible to being totally invisible. I soon realised that the coaching market in Sydney was quite crowded and I felt like a tiny fish in a huge ocean. Having grown a business before I knew what I had to do – but nothing came easy. I started to feel discouraged and a little defeated and I knew I was not going to survive if I didn’t change how I was thinking.

I created the model below to track my journey – going from feeling totally invisible to feeling empowered.

I was invisible and miserable.

I was the one that had to CHANGE something or I would remain insignificant.

I changed my thinking and my BEHAVIOUR, I started to feel adequate and believable.

I developed a PURPOSE.

I felt credible and validated.

I built a PROFILE.

I become visible and respected.

I got clear about who I wanted to be and how I could be of service to others.

I created INFLUENCE with the work I was doing and gaining confidence again.

I felt visible and able to Impact again through my work as a coach – not only did I feel empowered – I was helping others feel empowered as well.

 

Where are you on this pyramid?

How visible do you feel?

 

Here are 3 things to examine if you want to become more visible:

  1. Who you are – Self-awareness enables us to examine the way we see ourselves, our attitudes and our behaviours, our map of how we see the world. Our behaviour and how we make our decisions.
  2. What you believe – Our beliefs shape every aspect of who we are, from body language to the actions we choose to undertake. The presence we want to demonstrate, the values we want to convey and how that matches up with how others perceive us.
  3. How you are remembered – How we use our presence to influence others. To be inspiring and to inspire others: standing out and being noticed for our personal integrity and our ability to generate trust.

Click this link to book a free 30-minute call

Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed when others around you need you to focus on them?

How can you focus on others when at times
it can be so hard to focus on yourself?

Whether you’re currently at home or at the office – how do you manage others when you are struggling to manage yourself? 

At a time when there are no lines of differentiation between the various roles in life, what are your coping strategies?

As a very proud mother of an emerging artist who was getting ready for her first ever exhibition, I watched my daughter struggle over the last few weeks and almost give up the most important time in her life, in service of others.

The stress kicked in when the state of Victoria went into lock down and her art exhibition was relegated to an online opening. She couldn’t use her studio and was home schooling her 7-year-old daughter. Competing for space at home and having the busyness of the family around while trying to paint and get her exhibition pieces finished in time was nothing short of exhausting. She’d find herself painting till the small hours of the morning when the house was still and quiet, crawling into bed knowing that in a few hours she would have to show up for her family, start home schooling and maintain equilibrium just for her family to function. 

When we get into a stressed state, it is difficult to think clearly.  Routine tasks can be too hard to deal with, fear kicks in and we become immobilised. Taking action becomes difficult and what we would normally do to deal with a particular situation goes out the window.

Fortunately my daughter was open to support from family and friends – asking for what she needed and just talking it through – which got her through.

In the end, the exhibition was a great success and my daughter sold almost all her work.

This story is just one of the many out there of people being full time mothers, fathers, teachers, nurtures, carers, managers and team leaders – all of whom have little time to self-care.

American Author Bruce Barton wrote – “Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things … I am tempted to think, there are no little things”. 

How do I do it? I don’t have children at home and have an independent husband who is able to take care of his own needs. Yet like many – I still struggle. 

I have to remind myself every day, that the only thing that I can control is me. I do the things that I know will influence my health and my thinking, focusing on moving forward and doing something each day that makes me feel good. I feel blessed working with my clients and being part of their progress.

I have been running the Leadership Principles Program based on The 7th Habit of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey for the last three years.  Each time I run this program, I embody the principles more and more.  Covey wrote the quote “To know and not to do – is not to know”.   Applying these principles is a habit like any other. The idea is to start and practice consistently, no matter how little the steps are.

The 7th Habit is about self-care.

SHARPEN THE SAW – The Principles of Balanced Self-Renewal. Here – Covey talks about the Four Dimensions of Renewal.

Taking some simple steps towards renewal will give you the feeling of being in control of your body, mind and spirit.

I have shared a few examples of what I do to renew:

Physical.
I do between 20 to 30 minutes of yoga in the morning and if I don’t have time for yoga, I do a 7-minute workout from an app on my phone. I limit my caffeine, drink more water and eat clean. I try and get out in nature each day for a walk or just get some sun on my face. And I aim for 8 hours sleep a night

Mental.
I read to improve my skills as a coach and listen to something inspiring while I’m getting ready for work. I plan my day and promise myself I won’t get distracted (not easy for me).

Social/Emotional.
It is important for me to connect with people each day, be it friends, family, clients or my community. This does take extra effort when you are feeling isolated and we are so lucky that there are many different ways now to connect.

Spiritual.
Currently I am doing a 21-day meditation with Deepak Chopra – it is about 10 mins a day, sometimes in the morning or during the day or even before I go to sleep.
I journal my thoughts; to be grateful for my day, or set an intention or just note down my aspirations. It keeps me focused

Stephen Covey died in 2012, at the time of his death, he was named one of the most influential people in the world. In his final interview, he had this to say:

“Change itself has changed. It’s accelerated beyond anything any of us ever imagined. Technology revolutions seem to occur hourly. We grapple with economic uncertainty. Global power relations can shift dramatically and overnight. And much of the world is terror stricken, both psychologically and literally”

2020 has changed us all in some way – that is certain…… and

The smallest change can make the biggest difference.

Even When You Think Things Are Different – They Can Sometimes Feel The Same

“The world has changed – the world is more complex, more stressful, more demanding. We face challenges in our personal life, our families and our work unimagined even a decade ago. These challenges and problems are not only of a new order of magnitude, they are altogether different in kind.

These words were written by Stephen Covey in his forward to ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ in 2004 – Covey also talks about a few common human challenges we face. 

Fear and insecurity, blame and victimisation, ‘I want it now’, hopelessness, lack of life balance, ‘what’s in it for me’, hunger to be understood, conflict and differences and personal stagnation.

Can this be as real today as it was in 2004? Hell yeah!!

How are you feeling about life today?  The answer to this question will be different for every person.

For me – I am taking one day at a time. I know that if I worry too much about the future I will block myself from being proactive and moving forward. I made the decision to close my fashion business in 2008 when the world crashed financially and nobody wanted to buy anything.  It took me five years to get over that time emotionally and my health took a deep dive. So now I make choices day by day. I do what I can to look forward. 

I recently read an article written by Jess Pollard on R U OK?  Her answer to that question was: 

“No – I was not OK.”

Its well worth the read.

 

Lately I have had the privilege of completing some one on one sessions with a few members of a team who were finding the constant changes difficult to manage. Their struggle was the feeling of disconnection, not knowing what was going to happen next, everything was unpredictable. Talking through these challenges and understanding what they could control and what they could manage and how they could influence, put things back into perspective.

Getting perspective of what is happening is different for everyone – we all have our own maps of the world and what is easy for one person to grasp, can be very difficult for someone else. We interpret the world based on our own experiences and beliefs. 
Our challenge is not to judge. Making an assumption on how others should behave is based on our own thinking and beliefs and is generally how we would handle a situation. Remember they are not you.

Habit 5 of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is to Seek first to understand, then be understood. It is the principle of Empathic Communication. The best way to understand others is to ask questions. The better you get at asking question and not making judgements and assumptions the better you get at building trust.

Taking time to understand how others are feeling, creating some empathy and listening to the other persons point of view, can absolutely change the way that person sees the situation.

If you would like talk through an issue you are finding challenging – click on this link to book a free 30-minute call.

R U OK?